Let me preface by saying that there are lots and lots of albums I genuinely enjoy, a majority of them being complete trash, but they’re catchy and I like them. And in the past, my girlfriends have been simple people, so I couldn’t very well ask them to listen to David Bowie or Neutral Milk Hotel. I gave them simple, enjoyable albums that we could listen to together. I say all this to say… please don’t judge me by the following albums:

Nightmare of You – Nightmare of You
I remember first …

Do you ever see someone from afar and create a romantic relationship with this person in your head? Then when you get the chance, the pleasure of meeting them and interacting with them on a one-on-one basis, you wish you hadn’t? You realize that this person has nothing in common with you, has very basic interests, including watching American Idol and just loving The Hills. Does not feel passionately about anything or anyone and, therefore, cannot give his or her opinion because they do not “have one.” This person probably …

This morning I was rejected friendship from a girl I used to know liiiike 4 years ago. I’d sent her an email on Friday, she emailed me back (not once, not twice, but three times – the third time she was getting impatient because I hadn’t written her back… it had only been a day). So we send a few emails. They’re very trite and obviously going nowhere.
This is where I would like to say – I hate… hate hate hate girls who cannot hold a conversation to save their …

Peggy Hill, you damn bitch. I can’t adequately put into words how much I dislike this woman. First, you illegally smuggle a Mexican kid into the United States. Then you bring her back and expect to be treated as a hero. You idiot. Idiot. How in the hell does Hank Hill manage to not divorce your ass? Your hair is outdated, your pants are too high and your tits sag like you’re going to carry them in your grocery basket.
I hate you, you inbred hick.

Link: New domain? I think so.

Today I watched “Revolutionary Road” and concocted a list of filthy things I want to do to Kate Winslet, the least vulgar being bake cookies with her whilst she wears only an apron. I’ve always thought she was a beautiful woman stuck in a marriage to a scumbag director, but what do I know. She should just be mine. That is all.
Anyways, while waiting for the movie to begin, I sat in the very top row, right in the center, so I could have the best seat in the house. …

She recorded “Alright, Still.”
She doesn’t even have a great voice. I mean that. Her voice isn’t really a singing voice at all, to be honest. It’s more like talking to a tune, like when you sing songs with your class at school. But she makes it work. It’s a lot better than that Kate Nash bullshit hipsters feign adoration for.
She used to be fat and now she’s not so much.
God, I’m such a shallow bastard.
She did a cover of that Kaiser Chiefs song with Mark Ronson (see …

The smartest thing anyone ever said to me was, “Boy, when you get married… and you will get married, I can just tell… don’t forget to tell your wife you love her every day. Otherwise, she’ll leave you for a much younger, richer, taller man who doesn’t slobber on the pillows or drink all the milk without replacing it.”
“Are you speaking from experience?”
“Absolutely. I hate my ex-wife.”
I love Butch. He’s the best guy I’ve met.
Oh yeah, and I figured out how to add comments to Tumblr so that’s been the …

I never really understood the appeal of that kid. He was arrogant, pig-headed, a liar, skinny, wore ridiculous jeans and had that stupid “Dennis the Menace” smirk you just wanted to slap off of him. Plus, he had Kelly and still chased other girls’ skirts. Seriously? You had Kelly Kapowski and you still wanted to date random girls behind her back? I honestly want to punch this kid in the throat… and steal his hair.

I know I said I’d only blog like, twice a week, but the past few days have been extremely inspiring for me. Part of it is the fact that it’s winter. Also, my birthday just passed a couple of days ago, and I’m officially an old man (blech, 24 years old). To top it all off, we have a new president, and even though I’m not as far up his ass as everyone else, I respect a man with integrity and put faith in him until he proves otherwise. Plus, …