This morning I was rejected friendship from a girl I used to know liiiike 4 years ago. I’d sent her an email on Friday, she emailed me back (not once, not twice, but three times – the third time she was getting impatient because I hadn’t written her back… it had only been a day). So we send a few emails. They’re very trite and obviously going nowhere.

This is where I would like to say – I hate… hate hate hate girls who cannot hold a conversation to save their life (skip this paragraph if you would like to be spared a semi-long rant). And I’m not talking about awkward, out of the blue emails with ex-girlfriends. I’m talking about girls I’m currently dating being totally cool and fun to hang out with in person, but in email, they answer you like bam bam bam. Okay, that made no sense. But, for example, if I email them with three paragraphs, three questions to build off of, they email back JUST answering those questions in the same paragraph form, no asking questions, not leaving me anything to build off of. Come on now. What do you expect ME to respond with? “Oh really? That’s cool.” And that’s where the conversation (and interest) dies. Fortunately, it doesn’t happen often because most girls I date have a brain, but a few dummies slip through the cracks.

Back to the story. We’re emailing each other in the same bam bam bam sequence. I’m already getting bored here. Then she asks, “So why did you email me?”

My email back – “Why did I email you? I don’t know. Do you ever do things without really thinking about it, then potentially regret it later? Like calling someone you used to date or texting someone you fucked over. I don’t regret emailing you though, just wanted to see how you were, if anything has changed. Maybe it has. I don’t know.

“But if you don’t want to talk, I can leave you alone. You don’t seem very willing.”

And THEN she says, “I don’t think I do want to keep talking.. There is nothing in it for me. And that’s who I’m about these days. Gotta take care of my star player. I did miss you when I saw your first email though. I have changed. It may not be obvious, but to me I have.”

(Note: It sure would suck if she happened to stumble across my blog, seeing as how I’m copying and pasting word for word here).

I tell her, “In that case, have a good one.” In my mind I’m thinking, “All right you finicky bitch. Go back to your drugs, please and thanks.” But I’m a gentleman, and I don’t.

“You too Jabo.”

Jabo. Why would she call me Jabo? It’s a pet name she used to call me way way way back in the day. But considering the prior email, I can only assume that this girl is bipolar. Damn, she’s so hot though. That sucks. I mean, she’s always been a little kooky, but I wouldn’t expect someone who hated me and didn’t want to talk to me to call me that in our final email. And I don’t need drama anymore. This is why I left Florida.

If you read this whole thing, tell me, what do YOU think? Does she hate me or is she just nutso?

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