I was standing in line at the pharmacy and there were two people behind me, a guy and a girl. To our left was a plethora of gossips magazines - People, OK!, Us Weekly, National Enquirer - all of which had at least one picture of Rihanna and her “horrifying ordeal.” The girl says to the guy, “Ooh, I heard this was all just a publicity stunt and she’s just trying to promote her new song. I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO SO IT MUST BE TRUE!” He replies, “Well, now everyone knows she has herpes. Bully for her.”
a summary of this week in 100 words or less.
I hate everyone this week. And good riddance to the five or so girls who were offended by a particular blog. If you would’ve bothered to ASK me if it was about you, you would know it’s not even about anyone who reads this stuff, and you could’ve saved yourself the embarrassment of letting me know that you’re just a girl who makes baseless assumptions.
And I broke my jaw so obviously there will be no kissing and making up any time soon.
I have pride like you’ve never seen before.
My father was a very arrogant and proud man. He looked like Dean Martin, spent money like it was pouring out of his ears, had very powerful friends (typical Italian) and defended his family’s honor in the most public way whenever possible. He was an excellent provider, but a terrible role model. He taught me it was okay to juggle women, to lie and cheat if necessary. He told me to make sure I never get suckered in to having a joint checking account with a woman, never marry unless I have a prenup, and always stick up for anyone who tries to hurt my family. He was all over the place, that man. Sometimes I think I might end up just like him.
It’s like saying something you don’t understand is "stupid"
“While some of the projects in the bill make sense, their legislation is larded with wasteful spending. It includes $300 million to buy new cars for the government, $8 billion for high-speed rail projects, such as a magnetic levitation line from Las Vegas to Disneyland, and $140 million for something called volcano monitoring.
“Instead of monitoring volcanoes, what Congress should be monitoring is the eruption of spending in Washington, D.C.”
Bobby Jindal, you’re an idiot, and as someone who has extensive knowledge in geology, your remarks about volcano monitoring only further the stereotype that young Republicans are more fucking concerned about bringing down the Democratic Party than to pick up a goddamn science book and learn a thing or two - no, “a thing or two” does not include bitching about the stimulus package or whining about something that is apparent you know nothing about.
When your own party turns on you and publicly calls you “childish” and “immature,” I’m sure it becomes a well-known fact that you skipped all your geology classes or paid someone else (like me) to take them for you.
By the way, that last line was such a horrible pun, I think I cringed when I heard it.
