Hmm. Well, we’ve already heard the cactus story, so that one’s out. How about the story of the girl and the turtle? Because turtles practically live forever, and the girl wanted a friend for life. So she bought a turtle, named him Arthur (Spanky for short) and she and Art decided they would grow old together. And then one day Spanky told her that he was really a real boy (like Pinocchio, see) and that if she kissed him, he would become human. So she did, and he did, even though he wasn’t a turtle, and then they really could grow old together. Except Arthur wasn’t a turtle anymore so he didn’t live forever. Only eighty years. And he preferred Spanky.

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