My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-7-26)
Link: My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-7-26)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Since someone keeps bringing it up…
I have done a lot of things I wish I could take back. Most of them were done without thinking until AFTER the fact, and there are a few things I’ve done that most people don’t know about it, but I’m writing this now because I know some of my closest friends read this, and I hate to keep lying.
For one, I did have sex with my best friend’s wife. I know there were rumors floating around that we did, but no one who didn’t know ever asked me directly, so I never said anything. Yes, it happened, and yes, I will probably be flooded with threats (from girls) after I hit Post. I know I’m risking my friendship with a lot of people right now and it would be so much easier to not do this, but I think I have to.
In addition to Adam and Carrie, there were two other girls I messed around with while they were dating my friends. I think these people know who they are. One of the couples are still together and planning on getting married, so I’m sorry if this screws things up for you guys. I never tried to be a homewrecker or ruin anything. It only ever happened one time, and it was a big mistake.
To any future girlfriends, I’m a pig, I’m controlling, I’m jealous and insecure. Sometimes I drink and do bad things and blame it on being intoxicated. Sometimes I’m good, but it never makes up for the bad things I do. I’ve cheated plenty of times to make up for the times that I’ve been cheated on. I have two kids and if you ask any girl who has been in my life since I’ve had them, they’ll tell you that I’m an irresponsible parent and that those two little girls probably love me more than I love them.
I honestly don’t deserve good people in my life, which is probably why I have no one. I really fucked everything up for myself, and I’m sorry to every one of my friends I’ve screwed over.
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t confused about what to do. On one hand, I’m in love with the girl and she could probably kill my birds and I’d still want her. On the other hand, she makes me feel like shit and is fucking insane. I don’t deserve to be called a “fucking pig” over something that has always been said in jest, and I don’t appreciate being told that I’m only playing with her emotions and all I want to do is fuck around. There is absolutely no trust, no respect and no love between us anymore. No one has ever used my insecurities against me the way this girl has, and I refuse to be some stupid boy who’s so blinded by his feelings that he can’t think clearly.
This was never an easy decision. For the past six months, I have done nothing but pine over this girl and for her to believe something about me that isn’t true absolutely hurts my heart. She’s apologized, but what good is an apology if we’re just going to fall back to old ways?
I love you and this sucks, but it’s the only way any of us are going to move on and stop living in some stupid fantasy land where everything is perfect and mistakes never happen.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-7-19)
Link: My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-7-19)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz