I would be lying if I said I wasn’t confused about what to do. On one hand, I’m in love with the girl and she could probably kill my birds and I’d still want her. On the other hand, she makes me feel like shit and is fucking insane. I don’t deserve to be called a “fucking pig” over something that has always been said in jest, and I don’t appreciate being told that I’m only playing with her emotions and all I want to do is fuck around. There is absolutely no trust, no respect and no love between us anymore. No one has ever used my insecurities against me the way this girl has, and I refuse to be some stupid boy who’s so blinded by his feelings that he can’t think clearly.
This was never an easy decision. For the past six months, I have done nothing but pine over this girl and for her to believe something about me that isn’t true absolutely hurts my heart. She’s apologized, but what good is an apology if we’re just going to fall back to old ways?
I love you and this sucks, but it’s the only way any of us are going to move on and stop living in some stupid fantasy land where everything is perfect and mistakes never happen.
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