What Really Happened.
First of all, let me preface by saying that if you’re in a serious relationship with someone, it is never a good idea to keep in contact with any of your exes, no matter how friendly or harmless you think it is. Your girlfriend/boyfriend will say they trust you, but in reality, it will give them endless opportunities to accuse you of being unfaithful. And God forbid you turn down one of their advances, they become bitter and tell all your friends that you guys “totally hooked up.” It WILL happen – no matter how mature and solid you think your relationship is, all trust is teetering in the balance once someone puts the notion of infidelity into your significant other’s head.
Yesterday, I mistakenly called an ex-girlfriend to pick me up from the hospital. When I asked her, I assumed she was going to take me home. Why else would I call her? If I didn’t want to go home right away, I could have waited until after my cousin or something got off of work so she could be my ride. So my ex rolls in and tells me, “I can take you home, but it won’t be until later.” I don’t remember her reasoning, but it was something about making two trips blah blah blah. I said fine. What could I say? “No, take me home right now, even though you’re the one doing me the favor, you stupid whore”? Beggars can’t be choosers, right?
I didn’t lie to my girlfriend at all during the day, but I did omit tactfully. I never said I was at an ex-girlfriend’s house because I didn’t want her to think anything of it. To me, it wasn’t a big deal. I haven’t dated this girl since I was 19 or so, and we broke up because it just didn’t work out. There were no hard feelings (I didn’t think). At the time, I liked her, but I didn’t like her enough. She and I have talked on and off since then, and she always seemed like more of a friend than anything. So instead of creating this sense of uneasiness and distrust, I decided to just not say anything at all. In retrospect, it was probably a mistake. I make a lot of mistakes. But I never had any ill intentions during the day.
All day, I texted my girlfriend, except for a brief period where I fell asleep on the couch. Around 3PM, my ex came into living room and asked if I was okay and I nodded yes. She scooted in closer and tried to kiss me, and I pushed her away. I don’t mean a nudge. I mean a full-out “What the fuck are you doing?” shove. I then apologized for being so rough, but it freaked me out. She said, “I’m sorry. I assumed you’d think it was okay.” I shook my head no.
Not once during the day did she ask me if I had a girlfriend. As a matter of fact, we didn’t talk much at all, which is why I was so thrown off when she came in and tried to kiss me. After the uncomfortable exchange, she asked me when I had to be home and I told her at 5:30. “Expecting someone?” I nodded yes.
I’m not sure if this explains any of the stuff she said I did, but I asked you to trust me and you said you didn’t. You said you’re through with me because a girl you don’t even know said I “couldn’t keep my hands off of her.” All I did was think about you all day. How you can even accuse me of cheating when all I do is talk to you all day, every day baffles me. I don’t think if you told me you were hanging out with ex-boyfriends I would just assume you were fucking them. I have trust issues, but I’m not that insecure. I remember I asked you once if someone told you I was cheating on you, would you assume it was true or ask me? You said you’d ask me. But last night I told you nothing happened and you believed everyone else over me. It’s a shitty feeling.
Anyways, I needed to clear the air. I always tried to be upfront and honest with you, and I’m sorry I slipped up yesterday by not telling you where I was, but when I say that nothing happened, I mean that. Maybe she’s upset I reacted the way I did. I honestly have no idea. Regardless of that, we have no trust between us. You always assume I’m going to just hook up with any girl I can, and I haven’t and I won’t. Like I’ve told you before, I’m human, not a damn dog. It sucks that you don’t trust me, but I guess you really no reason to. You don’t even know me.
Actually, forget it. I explained myself and still got my heart thrown back at me. I feel sorry for you, Devansi. Your trust issues are enough to push a man away, and you’re never going to hold onto a man when you don’t know how to take his word. I’m sorry things ended this way, but it’s pretty clear you want me gone for good.
I’ve taken the liberty of erasing every entry that referenced you. I see you’ve already started taking steps to do the same. Good luck.
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