Having sex with as many women as possible without cheating: Part I
I won’t get into detail about the current status of my personal life except to say that I’m sorry to those I’ve disappointed.
In other news, I have been mingling with as many people as possible since I’ve been back in school. I recently started talking to a 36-year-old man who, I thought, was just an IT guy. After getting drinks, I discover he used to be married to an Indian chick (white guys and their fetishes, you know) for 13 years. We have something in common, I thought.
“We were swingers.”
This just got interesting.
With his IT background, and his internet business ventures, it was inevitable that he would begin running a porn site with her. “We were the talent. Well, she was.”
The next day, we got high at his apartment with a friend of mine, and one of his chick friends. I wanted to know more. See, I don’t know any swingers in real life. I’ve known some from afar, but they were in their 40s and kinda gross, and they always had the most disgusting people coming in and out of their house, from women who looked like hookers to some crackheads. Swinger life always seemed so nasty. Not so, says my new friend, who I’ll warmly refer to as Pudgy.
As a disclaimer, I asked Pudgy if it would be okay to talk about him in my blog, and he was totally cool with it. More impressed that I actually had one *nerd*
As a rule, Pudgy said, he and his wife were very selective about other couples that came into the picture. They met with these couples, asked them about their sexual history, always practiced safe sex and ensured that all parties were free of STDs. It wasn’t like they were pulling randoms off the street to fuck. It was like you and your wife were having these short to long term sexual relationships with another couple. Sometimes they’d invite these couples over for drinks, to watch TV, to play video games, smoke weed, whatever, and it wasn’t always sexual. But there was an understanding that it was allowed, and that if one couple or the other decided to go off with another couple, the other party needed to know.
But what I wanted to know was, “Was your wife allowed to go out and fuck the male in the other relationship without your permission? Is that cheating or against the rules?”
“Talk to your partner about that.” In his situation, there was only one other man she could have sex with and one other woman he could have sex with, and it would be okay. It wasn’t always group sex. And if you’re wondering if this guy ever had sex with a man, his answer was no. Do I believe it? Why wouldn’t I? The guy told me this much. Why would he worry about what I think of him and buttsex?
Last night, we shot each other a few texts back and forth. He knows I have an Indian girl myself, and he seemed pretty fascinated, but the more questions he asked about her, the more worried I became. After all, after his wife left him (she was cheating, by the way), he admitted to cruising Indian dating sites because that’s his thing. Indian chicks, Hispanic chicks, black chicks. He likes the high contrast vaginas, I suppose.
“You ever consider swinging? Maybe you and your girlfriend would fight less if the sexual tension was released with other people.” To me that’s like saying, “You’re sad? Maybe you should just suck my dick. That’ll make you feel better.” If that’s worked on any of you, let me know.
I don’t think I’m a swinging kind of guy. I love women. I love having lots of sex. But I can’t imagine having to watch my girlfriend/wife/whoever being rammed doggystyle by some other man with a smaller cock than mine. In order for me to even CONSIDER something like that, I guess it would have to be with someone I’m not in love with, but I still think other people can complicate things. There was this radio show yesterday talking about polyamorous relationships, and this one woman said, “I started having frequent sex with this one married couple, they asked me to move in, but I had to stop after a year because they were both starting to like me more than each other.” Yeah, that really sounds horrible. Sarcasm.
Another one of his rules was no kissing. “Oh, like a prostitute.” Imagine that – you go through the cycles of touching, oral sex, juices being exchanged, penetration, but dear Lord, don’t let his lips touch yours. His reasoning? “That’s intimate.” I see.
Maybe it works for some people. I wouldn’t dare rule it out. I’ve never ruled anything out because, who knows, maybe one day I’ll be 40 and I’ll have a 20-year-old girlfriend and she won’t love me, but darn if she doesn’t like money and sex. Would I say no? At that point in my life? Probably not. And I’m too jealous. If I see my partner blowing some guy in front of me, I might be tempted to bash his head into my table.
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