I forgot about the BET Awards last night (and with good cause; that shit is always a hot mess), but I caught wind of Chris Brown crying like a bitch. It was all over the radio this morning, so I decided to YouTube it. My honest-to-God candid reaction was “Fuck you. No. Fuck you.” This guy is the most insincere guy in the fucking universe. I never wanted to sock someone so hard in the face.

Before I hear anything about double standards, wah wah wah Sean Penn and Charlie Sheen can get away with it, blah blah blah, save it. Those guys can take turns sucking my cock too. Chris Brown is no goddamn exception. I’ve always had an irritational hatred for him, but it seemed to be justified after he choked his girlfriend and left bitemarks on her.

Chris Brown is not talented. Are you guys fucking serious? His dancing is sloppy and all over the place. His singing, dear God, don’t get me started on his singing. His songs are so fucking generic, which is exactly why he’s been booted out of mainstream radio and replaced with other generic pop/R&B singers like Jason Derulo, who my aunt is convinced IS Chris Brown.

Chris Brown is not good-looking. And maybe looks are subjective, so we’ll ignore his protruding teeth and disgusting hairline, but how would his looks excuse him from beating up on a girl like she’s got even half the strength of him? Seriously? You gonna let a fucking man put his hands on you because he’s got money and looks? Girls, if you wanna fight so damn badly, let it be a fair fight. Fight a bitch your own size. Don’t be so fucking pathetic.

People make mistakes, sure. But sometimes, when people make mistakes, they’re sincerely remorseful about them. This motherfucker struts around with a permanent smirk and a chip on his shoulder, and he thinks he can pull the wool over everyone’s eyes, make an MJ tribute all about him, and think we’re all gonna be, “Poor baby! He’s so sincere! He’s crying! All is forgiven!”? No, sir. Not everyone. There’s a group of people who are willing to forgive, probably because they think that abuse is sometimes justified, but I won’t specifically say who this “group of people” is because if you’re educated enough, you can deduce just by searching for “Chris Brown” on Twitter.

So you too can suck my dick, Chris Brown. Disappear, come back as a beautiful butterfly, then die.

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